Monday, July 21, 2008

a funny thing happened to me on the way to pick up the sink

which is that i didn't bring anyone to help me. i did think i had planned ahead enough, by bringing all sorts of heavy item moving stuff... dollies, handcarts, the big ramp things to put on the back so i could roll the sink up and into the truck. well... that sink is motherfuckin heavy. its cast iron with porcelain overlay, and it is 51" long.

and the guy's driveway was on a slope. but not toward the street, back in and toward his freshly painted garage doors. so once i got the thing on the dolly and say it had gotten away from me as i pushed it up toward the truck, it would have gone rolling and smashed through his garage. oh boy.

so i attached a rope to the sink, in case it did get away from me, it wouldn't go all the way down. i tried getting it in with the ramps, but no go, too much of a slope working against me. i tried propping it against the tailgate and either pushing it up and in or pulling it over the edge and in from the inside of the bed. nope. i tried each of these approaches at least twice, and oh yeah, it was also about 95 degrees. and there wasn't a soul around. except maybe the elderly neighbor across the street (but i didn't want to be responsible for any negative consequences with his help).

i tried to get that thing in there for an hour. sweat cascading into my eyes, ears, nether regions. i was just about to give up when i hear the beautiful chorus of bells broadcast over a crappy PA and low and behold.... it's the ice cream man. i ran into the street after him yelling "ice cream man, ice cream man, HELP!"

well, it was more along the lines of a scrawny goth ice cream teen. pale skin, jeans, dyed black hair, elvis costello glasses, a big black leather belt, and skinny as a rail. oh boy. so i say "um, ice cream
dude... can you help me push my sink into the back of my pickup?". he looks at me and i swear to god he says "well, i'm kind of weak". i'm all "dude, right now you look like hercules, lets go". so i get in the truck and pull and he pushed from the back. and it went in. i thanked him profusely, and although i couldn't tip him or even buy myself a creamsicle or rocket pop because i had zero cash on me, i yelled to him and told him he had gotten his good karma points for the day. i drove home singing about how i was saved by the ice cream man, kid, goth, teen, dude.

and then i really hurt myself unloading the thing alone over at the bay. but, here it is.


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